4, Something you're looking forward to

There's like a million and a half things I am looking forward to. But I mean seriously, I have been planning on traveling around the world since I was about 10. This is the year I leave North America. The picture is from my favorite travel show "departures".  They I believe are in Jordan one of many places I want to see. Instead of listing ALL the places I dream of one day seeing, I'm going to show you. Here we go, Cathy's list of places I dream of seeing in my life time:

India

 Chile

 Cuba

 Ireland

 Zamba

 Mongolia

 Papa New Guinea

 New Zealand

Paris

 Rome

 Russia

 North Korea

 Venice

New York

Greece

I think you guys get the point, I could probably upload the entire world. These are just a top few. And I'm not saying I'm going all these places this year (I wish) but one day. The "Help Me Travel The World" fund is now open, now get out those wallets and help me live a dream! :) No? Not even in my dreams? Okay okay you guys don't have to be so mean! lol.

3. Your siblings and parents

This is the Coppin/Campbell family (minus Chris). This picture is the most recent photo of all of use. And in my personal opinion the best. because seriously we have a whole slew of awful family pictures. One in perticular that I unfortunately dont have a copy of, hangs in our dinning room. It's of us 5 at Disneyland. Besides that being the worst family vacation in the history of vacations, we all look pretty ruff. You know what is better than writing about how much you love each of your family members? Posting ridiculous photos of each of them! Sorry guys, good thing only one of you reads this blog!

Good Christmas gift to my family? professional photos.


And of course here are some single shot highlights of my family. Love you all.

 

This photo isn't bad. I just now she will love to see it up on my blog!

This one is about as close to the Disneyland picture you guys are going to get!

That's it guys. That's my beautiful family.

2. Somethng that stresses you out.

Page Design. I know that if you have never had to put a Newspaper page together, you can't full understand how stressful it is. So here's how it goes.
First you spend about an hour trying to either shorten a very poorly written newspaper story into a small space. Or your creating a custom graphic to fill the left over space, because the writer didn't care to make it more than 40 words.
Then you move graphics, text, and so much more all around a page until it fits
Then once you think it's right you send it to proof.
It comes back looking like it was massacred. And you need to moved things closer, fix the spell of a grammatically retarded print student, lighten photos, change leading, re-work entire pages!
And lets not forget that when you ask a question, you are publicly humiliated.
Then you fix it all.
Proof it by a much nicer student proofer.
Listen to the teacher talk about how you should be finished by now.
Fix those correction.
Proof it one more time 
Listen to them nag about putting it online.
PDF it, put it online.
And run out of that room like you never have before.
And so concludes the largest stress in my life.
I know it may not sound so stressful, but  imagine working on one page for over 4 hours and then picking up a newspaper the next day only to see they replaced your entire page with a full page story of a guy who got charge with child porn.
Luckily for me, I'm on newspaper promotion this week, which means I have put together my last page for the Lethbridge College Endeavour!

The count down

You may or may not know that in 13 short days I will be closing this chapter of my life and opening a new one. Strangely this chapter begins at T's house again (note 3 years ago I was doing this same thing, minus the running away from controlling man part, oh and not having a diploma part).
So here I sit 13 days until I reach a mile stone in my life... Whats a mile stone with out a count down?
Well I found this 15 day challenge on a friends blog. Since there's only 13 days until I leave I reserve the right to ditch two of the 15 days.

So this is my 13 day challenge count down to the end...bye bye Bridge, I'm going back to the big city (after a short stay in a smaller city with T)!

Day 1 - Self portrait picture, and 13 interesting facts

Day 2 - Something that stresses you out

Day 3 - Your siblings and parents

Day 4 - Something you're looking forward to

Day 5- pictures of things that make you happy

Day 6 - A song that makes you cry

Day 7 - Favorite movies

Day 8- Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs

Day 9 - Favorite TV shows

Day 10 - What you believe

Day 11 - Goals

Day 12 - Some pictures you love

Day 13 - pictures of your dream house

 

 

1. This is one of my favorite pictures, I haven't been able to display it in a long time (thanks to personal choices to have a jerk in my life) That girl kissing me in the photo was a great friend, and I wish her all the best. 

 

2. I am afraid of birds, I developed a fear of pigeons while taking the C-Train back and forth when I was last in Calgary. It has now developed into a fear of ALL birds...  

 

3. I one day plan on running my own design business. Most likely using my blog's title as the name. It will be a advertising design firm/photography studio with a gallery in the front. 

 

4. I get kind of obsessively weird with TV shows. If I like a show, I'll watch it, talk about it, change my cell phone and computer background  pictures to it, quote it and all in all fall in love with it. Until I finish the season and move on to the next show I obsess with. I think it all started with Degrassi the next generation. There has been a large string of show since. Gossip Girl, Glee, Departures, How I met your Mother, Instant Star, True Blood, and the list goes on.

5. I hate stuffed animals. 95% of the time when I see them a small rage about how useless they are builds up inside of me. The other 5% of the time I have "AW that's so cute" moment. Mostly when they are super duper soft. I have 2 stuffed animals. One is an orange cat I got from my Grandma Coppin when I was like 4, her name is Tabby Cat and she looks permanently angry because my mom washed her and her fur got all matted in angry eyebrows. The other is a white bear my mom gave me, and for reals the only reason I still have that one is I think my mom would kill me if I got rid of him. 

6. I never really thought I had a style, until I did a major cleaning of my closet this month. I trashed over half of my wardrobe. What was left? an array of blue,grey, brown, white, and black plain shirts, sweater, and hoodies. And 4 pairs of jeans that all look the same. And a bunch of extremely bright patterned PJ's. Yup I have a style. 

 

7. I have book ADD. I have a pile of books this high that are all started but not finished. The really good ones in one pile, that not so good ones in another. I love reading, I just usually get half way through and then get distracted.

 

8. I haven't painted a single thing since B left for China (two years). It has nothing to B being in China (however if that will make you come home for a visit, yes it does your killing my creativity!) it's just the last thing I painted was for him to take with him. I actually think it was an awful picture of a fish... maybe I should redeem my painters rep. However In the past year I really got into comic book art, I now have a whole sketch book of black and red marker pictures of comic book characters.

 

9. (wow these are ending up being super long!) I just finished packing my room to move. My entire life sits into 4 plastic containers, 2 suite cases, and a laundry basket. And even though that's a great amount to move, it's a sad amount to own! 

 

10. Remember when I really wanted to get a practicum with the Southern Alberta Art Gallery? And I got the interview but they picked this tragically alternative, I love staving children in Africa, I like dread locks girl from my class? Well recently that girl had to ask me if I could let her design the rest of my ads for the year so she could get enough credit to pass the course. To this I say: Karma. You may have beat me into getting the practicum I wanted (that may I say she didn't deserve) but now you need my help to graduate. Oh and she recently dropped the SAAG practicum. KARMA: When you get passed over for things you really want, and then the people they give it to screw them over.

 

11. When I was packing my room/ de-junking I had an entire box full of half use Bath and Body Works product to give away. Hello my name is Cathy and I am a Bath and Body Works addict... p.s. has anyone heard if they are hiring ? :)

 

12. Usually I skip through about 15 songs on my ipod before finding one I want to listen to. No matter what mood I am in, I NEVER change a song by The Postal Service. No reason, their not even my favorite band. I just am always always always in the mood for them.

 

13. When I left Calgary, I spent a day with my old room mate and friend Nichole. We walked around Down Town Calgary looking at all the artsy things down there. On a table in the lobby of a gallery was two vases and a pad of paper. The pad explained that you were take a piece of paper out of the vase on the left, write down someone/something you wanted to leave behind, stuff it into the other vase and walk away from it. I did. On April 1st I am going to write down one word on a piece of paper place it on the window sill of my room, turn around walk out of my house and never look back. What will that word be? Well it is the only word that can sum up all the good and bad memories I will be leaving behind in this house. Good Bye.

is it to late?

As some of you may or may not of heard I kick Bryan to the curb.
I'll pause for you aplause.
I thought that it would be easy, kick one ex BF/BFF and live a happy fulfilling life.
Turns out it's not that easy.
Why am I sad about this? Am I crazy? This is the guys literally took my heart and stomped on it!
Why am I still making excesses for him? Why can't I just be the bad guy? Don't I deserve to be happy.

When I think about it one question always ends up in my head.
He couldn't really expect me to stay around after he choose her. Could he?

Maybe he hasn't done as much as I thought he has.
But in the end, I was his girlfriend, and he couldn't have cared about me much if 3 days after we broke up he slept with my best friend. And when I see the way he treats her it makes me mad. I never got treated that way, and I gave it my all. So maybe the reason I haven't been able to fully walk away until now is becasue I've been waiting.
Waiting for him to see that I am amazing.

Well I'm don't need to wait anymore. Even if I feel bruised, used, broken, I know that I deserve better. Everyone does. Even Brinae does. But he deserves exactly what he has. Nothing more, and certainly not me.

I didn't tell you that I had a slight relapse this weekend. I let him convince me that I wanted to casually talk still. To casually have him in my life. I know, right now, that I want nothing more to do with him.
So this is what I am going to say, tomorrow right before I block his number from my phone, and block his Facebook account from mine.

Bryan,
You said the other day that we have come so far together, and that it would be a waste to let all that go.
I know now that that is not the case. We have come far together, and even though I wish I could have learned them another way, I have learned things that will stay with me always. I have no clue if you learned anything, I don't even know if I really made an impact on your life.
And you know what I don't care. I don't care if you graduate, or if Brinae loves you for real or not. I don't care if you move into your mother place again, and I don't care if you never leave this place.
I stopped really caring about you along time ago. In fact I remember the very second it happened. I was sitting in a radio booth texting you and you told me you had started talking to Brinae again.
In my heart I knew that you never really cared about me. You may think you did. But I was just that girl. The one you needed to help you get to where you want to go. The one you will look back and think fondly of, but not the girl who wins. Not the girl who stays part of your life.
I'm the girl who moves on Bryan. Who gets everything she ever wanted because she's worked for all of it. I'm the girl who comes home one day to a real man, who know just how lucky he has to have me love him. I'm not the girl who keeps finding people that make her unhappy to fill a space. Because as of right now, that space is full. Thanks to the people that really do love me.
I have come to far alone, and it would be a waste to let all that go for 25 days of having you in my life.
Good bye forever.
Cathy Coppin

the wall

There is this wall when it comes to me and you.
You take it down when you need me to be there for you.
But when I need you it's always up.
It's an ugly wall, and not at all hidden or misable.
You built it with selfishness and and self pitty.
You built to protect yourself.
You don't see the wall.
Even though it is completely unmissable, you can't see it.
Even when I take your hand and press it against the wall you still see nothing.
On it you hang you "friend of the year" award.
The one that you created and hung yourself.
It's strange because when I don't need someone the wall does not effect me.
But in my darkest hours, I see it looming over me.
Leaving me alone in it's dark shadows.
I tried to take down the wall.
Nothing works.
And so I decide that the only way to escape the feelings the wall has left me with is to leave.
Leave you and the wall.
To let the light shine on me.
But there are other things that tie me to the wall.
I think sometimes even the wall ties me to the wall.
Less often now, but still a tie.
Could I leave all these ties behind?
What would my life become?
Or can I find something to bring me light until the ties drop.
And I am free to walk away.
Give it all up, or find a light?
Both seem equally as hard at this moment.
But which one will I choose.

Happy New Year

Typically ever new year I have filled out a questionnaire. But this year I just didn't want to type out what my greatest hardship has been, my goals for the new year.....yada yada yada.....so instead I used what I love the most to sum up 2010. Lets not get me wrong in no way was 2010 my prime year. But there where some  pretty good memories. So here's a photo collage- via a facebook app - that I threw together for your new years bliss. Happy new year friends, family, and bloggers. Now lets forget about what happened last year and move on to some new adventures!

It's funny how things pass.
I thought my 21 year old problems would be the end of me.
Now I see that my 21 year old problems are just the sand paper of my life.
lessons learned, egos put aside, and hard feeling buried for good, this has been an ok year.
I mean yes it was pretty shitty. But I learned some life lessons.

I learned how to fall in love, and to fall out of it.

I learned how to work at relationships, I learned the value of friendships.

I learned that sometimes things are hard. That's just the way it is.
And any one who thinks life is always suppose to be up, is completely stupid. Because with out the downs there would be no ups.

I learned that people often don't mean to hurt you. But they do because they are just human.

I've learned that the little things, like spending an hour with the cutest baby on earth, or taking the dogs for  a walk, can mean more than the big things.

I've learned that forgiveness is really freeing.

I've learned that you can follow you heart, or you can follow your head, it doesn't matter down both paths there will be something unexpected.

Nothing is fair, and watching thing be handed to those around you is often discouraging. But earning what you have, and what you want is really the best feeling.

I have learned that often what looks like love, is usually two lonely people hoping to find love. And that just because you want to meet the love of your life doesn't mean they are right in front of your eyes. But I still believe it's worth the wait.

I'm 50/50 on wither I think psychics are full of shit or the tellers of my future. It's been about 4 months and love hasn't happened......and she said it was right around the corner. But then again that corner could have been pretty far away.

I guess looking back this year hasn't been all that bad. I've had people around me who love, value, respect, and admire me always. And I guess even when you hope for so much more, that's all you can really ask for. And that's all you really need.

Happy new year guys. Here's to your family's, your happiness, and your dreams coming true.

Giving Thanks

Oh man, it has been entirely to long since I posted. Okay well Today is THANKSGIVING!!! My personal favorite holiday, because on Thanksgiving my two favorite things are brought together. Food, and Family. The double F's in life. However this year there is no family.....but I insisted there be food! And not just food, real Thanksgiving food! So I set out on my first attempt to make a real thanksgiving dinner.

First off why do they not sell precooked turkey slices on TG? ummm not everyone has time/money/skills/need to make a whole TURKEY! So I had to settle for chicken, it's close enough.

Second why the crap are pumpkin pies so gross looking. I went to Safeway looking for the monster of all pies, I mean a real beauty. I found the opposite. small, flimsy, gross crust, sad sad pies. But they were the only ones so I settled....It still tastes amazing, it just looks off.

I got home and realized I have no clue how to make half of the stuff I needed. Gravy? Yams? I'm at a loss....Luckily my iphone (even though recouping from a recent bad encounter with the toilet) can solve anything.  SO I began the food making process. And in the end I was proud of the results.

Okay okay so the marshmallows are a bit over cooked.......Give me a break would you! Other wise I think this dish gets and +A!! Happy Thanksgiving Family,Friends, and Fellow bloggers. I'm thankful for everyone of you! And especially the ones who get late night calls, and help me think logically. I love you all.