Monday, January 11, 2010

Wow I am horrid at this

So New Year! Doesn't that mean I should be a better blogger?? I guess not since its eleven days in and this is my first post. I bet you guys are feeling like you don't know me anymore.

Well new year means I am ready to be a bit new myself. For the past couple of months writing here has been a waste of time. Since I didn't feel like I could say what’s really going on in my life. I was afraid of the judgments. By the people who thought they knew me the best. And yes my current life changes (which aren't really that big! I am the same person. I just don't go to church anymore) may be frowned upon by members of my family, hell maybe even by readers. But I don't really care anymore. I don't really expect anyone to understand why I went from what I was to what I am now. However, I do expect them to see that for once I feel right. And happy. WHAT!? You could be happy without going to church?? Yes you can.

For once I don't hurt. I am not crying. I am smiling and having fun.........and well it's hard to go back after you finally feel good again. SO whether you think it is right or not, this blogger has taken a new direction. And so will this blog. If you don't want to hear about it then don't read.

So the boy. I am sure you are all dying to know about it. We were on and off and half way there and not ever going there. I think in the past I 1) painted him in bad shades of grey. And 2) didn't really tell anyone how I really felt about him.
I really like this one. Like a lot. He really likes me to. A lot a lot.
And yes he has down falls (Don't you?) but nothing I can't live with.......well it does drive me crazy that he is always itchy and begs for back scratches all the time!....but a small price to pay.
I asked him to dinner with my parents the other day. This turned into “coffee” and a car ride. Coffee with my Mother (who is for the most part good about keeping plans) and a car ride with both of them (because my step Dad....well I don't think he could make solid plan if his life depended on it). I really enjoyed it. It symbolized a whole new level of being adult. Never before has a boy met my parents.
No you all must be thinking "Oh, so you are in a relationship!"
Think again. That would be too easy.
Nope still single.......sort of single.
We aren't seeing other people. We spend all our time together.......but no commitment.
That bugged me for a while. But I got over it. The label isn't going to change how either of us feel. So I guess I can wait it out. PLUS when you are not official, openly enjoying other men is still legal!
I do realize that works both ways.......... has that lost its novelty. I mean it's hard! All this work! All these 8 am classes! But I will push through. I think I just need to get off the holiday hump. That will probably happen right around the time reading week is. So I will then have a whole week to recoup from the past month and a half of 8 am classes! There is nothing worse than 8 am classes NOTHING! Not even death. Actually at 6:30 when my alarm clock goes off death seems pleasant. lol.
My old group of friends has been rather torn apart. The thing with my program this year is it's really big! So it's kind of divided into two groups. We all had lecture classes together, but that’s about it. This semester I was put into the other group. So I am lacking in the close buds department. I mean JessMcMurry is in most of my classes. But pre Christmas break drama has made our friendship next to nothing.
Beau Foe is in a him. But he is a slacker and misses most classes.
Bri has dropped a handful of classes and is preparing to drop the program.
And as for Z well he is lost in other program group land.....the land I should be in but am not.
Oh right and then there's BRy who has 4 classes 3 with me......3 out of 10 isn't a lot.
So looks like school will be more about work than friends this semester. Oh well. I still love it even if it's hard.

My new house is kind of like a graveyard. It is dead most days, and the occasional person will wonder through it. I am rarely home, LeahN is rarely home, new girl might be home but if so she is in her room, and Eron rarely home. I often wish I could kick everyone out and fill it with people that would come home. Or that is was entirely mine. I could have whoever I wanted over when ever. A girl can only dream. In fact the saddest part is that we are still not unpacked fully. There is still no dishes in the cup boards....boxes still litter the place. Nothing is in place, if feels like everyone is just waiting for the next place to go. I haven't looked yet but I don't know how much longer I will be there. For now it is fine. A place to sleep, and make my chicken nuggets! lol.

Well my beloved blog readers, I finally did it. I made it through a whole post! It's feels nice to get some of this off my back! I hope I can post more soon. I think this will be good the new honesty in my blog!