Monday, March 31, 2008

the worst day of my life

ok so lets not get me wrong i have had a lot of bad days. but i think today may have just out did the rest. here are the events of this horrific day.
i wake up tired (that always makes me sad)
i get ready, and actually look pretty good, the outfits good the hairs good the make ups good.
so i go upstairs and think hey i should go on facebook!
i open my laptop and turn it on and it was white. white is not a color you computer screen should be. so i call my mom. she tells me its probably the screen, its old, it just stopped working. well that was it...........the thought of not having my laptop during the most important weeks of my college paper writing career, drove me over the edge. i started balling and balling and balling. no one could say or do anything to make me stop. I called a computer man, he told me the same thing. i called a friend he told me the same thing, i took it to a geek, he told me the same thing. i, by this time was in a total wreck, i called my work with the intentions of faking sick, unfortunatly it didnt happen like that. it happened like this. my manager gets on the phone, and i say hi donna, she asks if im ok i say no. and then it happens, i start bawling to her, telling her what happened and how stressed i was. needless to say i didnt go in to work today.
luckily i had my step dad to help me out. at the end of the day we got it straitened out. i bought myself a $750 new laptop. Its on my moms credit, i have to pay it back. but all in all the new laptop was totally not worth the stress. now luckily all that is left of this sickening day is my throbbing headache. which will soon leave cuz im going to sleep the rest of this horrid day off. hopefully tommarrow i can function once more

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

mind stuck

my mind is stuck..... read previous blog and find out why! so i thought if i force some random thoughts i may not seem like such a obsessed loser.

1. I dont know if you have ever been at a concert. and not some stupid violin recital, i mean like a rock concert, with amps and speakers. well this weekend i did 2. I love the feeling of my ears when i stand next to a stage full of passionate LOUD musicians. at first its just loud, but after a while your ears numb, and you can feel every note pulsing through you. this feeling is amplified if the band loves their music. it takes me to a whole nother place, during a concert i am the real me. in its whole.

2. House cleaning is not my strength.... i believe it is genetic, so get it some dont. unfortunately i didn't. im not a complete slob, not OCD either. but for the past while our house has lied dirty. so this Saturday i at last got a weekend off. and even though i had every intention to just sleep all day, i cleaned. the following is a list of things i found while cleaning our upstairs:
-one apple core. dried up and shrivelled.
-orange peels, also dried and shriveled.
-hamburger from tacos about 3 weeks ago.
-cream cheese
-juice crusted on to the wall.
-3 cents
-at lest a pound of bread crumbs
-every wrapper of every kind of fruit snack ever invented.
-a spiderweb necklace that is really a broken dream catcher.
needless to say we were sitting in a garbage can.

3. I am a huge fan of art....also an artist. But i dont own anything by a professional. I was in my favorite store, looking or a birthday present, when i ran across this amazing picture of a tribal African. It was love. of course art is expensive..... but this painting was only 40 dollars. but being practical with my money i had to think this over. i wondered the store finding things for the present... and at last i desided that i was going to buy it. best thing i bought all year.

4. i have come to a sad realization that i was a bully in high school. My best friend is dating a guy we all knew in high school. he is from Russia. well me and laura kind of loved bugging him all through high school. we would tell him to shut up or we would have him deported and many other things. but this last month i guess i found out that we had a lasting effect. he told steph that he really didnt like us still. wow. i am hurt cuz i thought we were still friends. but i see know that even my dumb jokes hurt. so i am a bully.

well its sad but i really cant think of anything else to say but this. every time i go to start some thing new, he pops in my head! ah no....... stay posted, maybe this one will be different.

perfect bone stucture and jimi hendrix

this weekend was my 19th birthday....
usually this would be a horrible realization for me seeing how i hate my birthday. it never goes the way it should. i always end up feeling like i want to smack someone at the end of it. so this year i took matters into my own hands. that's right i planned my own party. first things first i wanted cody there. no amount of stupidness could make me want my best friend not there. so they all came. it was the best weekend of my life! it wasn't really that exciting, we watched a jimi hendrixover band at the slice (a bar downtown). and we had a sleep over the night before. but i had the best time ever. it was a change.
Now for the perfect bone structure of this story. I have found love.... or i will when i finally get up the nerve to talk to him. but he has the most amazing face. its just so perfect... in a Cathy kinda perfect way. I told Laura he has perfect bone structure! ya i know I'm a dork. He was most definitely the reason this weekend was so great. He sat next to me in our last class Friday. I was seriously and sadly smitten. I went home and was singing every Beatles song know to man... while making a cake and dancing about. It's been to long since i felt this way. I missed it. but it definitely made for the perfect weekend.