mind stuck

my mind is stuck..... read previous blog and find out why! so i thought if i force some random thoughts i may not seem like such a obsessed loser.

1. I dont know if you have ever been at a concert. and not some stupid violin recital, i mean like a rock concert, with amps and speakers. well this weekend i did 2. I love the feeling of my ears when i stand next to a stage full of passionate LOUD musicians. at first its just loud, but after a while your ears numb, and you can feel every note pulsing through you. this feeling is amplified if the band loves their music. it takes me to a whole nother place, during a concert i am the real me. in its whole.

2. House cleaning is not my strength.... i believe it is genetic, so get it some dont. unfortunately i didn't. im not a complete slob, not OCD either. but for the past while our house has lied dirty. so this Saturday i at last got a weekend off. and even though i had every intention to just sleep all day, i cleaned. the following is a list of things i found while cleaning our upstairs:
-one apple core. dried up and shrivelled.
-orange peels, also dried and shriveled.
-hamburger from tacos about 3 weeks ago.
-cream cheese
-juice crusted on to the wall.
-3 cents
-at lest a pound of bread crumbs
-every wrapper of every kind of fruit snack ever invented.
-a spiderweb necklace that is really a broken dream catcher.
needless to say we were sitting in a garbage can.

3. I am a huge fan of art....also an artist. But i dont own anything by a professional. I was in my favorite store, looking or a birthday present, when i ran across this amazing picture of a tribal African. It was love. of course art is expensive..... but this painting was only 40 dollars. but being practical with my money i had to think this over. i wondered the store finding things for the present... and at last i desided that i was going to buy it. best thing i bought all year.

4. i have come to a sad realization that i was a bully in high school. My best friend is dating a guy we all knew in high school. he is from Russia. well me and laura kind of loved bugging him all through high school. we would tell him to shut up or we would have him deported and many other things. but this last month i guess i found out that we had a lasting effect. he told steph that he really didnt like us still. wow. i am hurt cuz i thought we were still friends. but i see know that even my dumb jokes hurt. so i am a bully.

well its sad but i really cant think of anything else to say but this. every time i go to start some thing new, he pops in my head! ah no....... stay posted, maybe this one will be different.