Sometimes I torcher myself.
I go on my friends facebook and I look up Bryan.
Not becasue I miss him and want him in my life.
Becasue I spent 2 years loving him, and even though he is an ass hole. I want him to be a happy ass hole. Actually I want him to be a good, honest, happy, loving man.
Not for me, for him. Yes he was a douche to me, but he was also my best friend. He taught me how to be strong.
I went on facebook to look him up today.
And I saw his profile picture was an image of him and brinae and a little girl. Brinae had her hand on his leg, and they looked so happy.
And for the first time since I took them out of my life, I didn't feel mad. I didn't feel betrayal or even a little hurt.
I thought maybe this was why I had to go through so much with them. So that they could be happy together. I want both of them to be happy. Seeing that picture it made me feel like something good came out of those two years.
I doubt that either of them will ever know this, but I am extremely happy that two people who I loved so much, are that happy together. And I hope that they both get every good thing that they deserve.
Yes they both picked the worst possible way to do it.
But I am a strong belever in doing whatever it takes to be happy. Even if it mean that someone gets hurt along the way. Because lets face it, the people we love are the people we hurt the most.
I'm sorry it had to go the way it did, thank you both for teaching me things I needed to learn about myself.
Good luck Brinae and Bryan.