Some times in life you have these moments. You are sitting some where and at that moment you are filled with joy. At that moment you feel like the person you really are, all your flaws and your strengths weave together into one beautiful person. And deep down to your very core you feel that you are at peace.
There are moments in my life where I have felt this. There are also moments I expect to feel this. And even though I have these moments, I still don't feel I know who I am. Do you know who you are? I watched the movie "Eat Pray Love". I went to this movie for three reasons
1. I love Julia Roberts
2. I love movies that take place in exotic locations
3. I knew it would inspire me to get back to finding myself.
Here's some thing I decided in the movie. I know a great deal about myself. I just often feel that I can not be myself to please others. I want to live my life for me. I do believe in a God. My God is different then your God, as your God is different then some body else. To me he means some thing totally different then what he means to you.
God dwells within me, as me. I don't think God is interested in the show. He doesn't want to see me as the perfect church goer. And never really understanding who I am. He loves me. And he wants me to see my self as I am, so I can love myself as much as he does. God doesn't only love and bless people who follow LDS church standards. He sends blessing to each person every day. All I have to do is breathe to get them. And even though at time I feel that being who I am, may appear to be wrong to those that I love the most. I know that God wants me to figure it all out, so that I can be just as at peice with myself as he is.
If there was one word i could pick to describe my very being at this moment it would be..... I wish I knew. I don',t at times I think it would be artistic, but that is just a talent it is not who I am. It is not the word that sums up me. What would your word be? Not an easy question. I started on a journey to find myself, and I have become a little stalled. But then again maybe I just feel stalled and that is holding me back. I am making a promise to myself at this moment. To start to live life. I'm not going to do it by traveling across the world right now. Right now I am going to live my life by learning lessons, loving and sharing every small moment I have. Learning how to draw knowledge from the people around me.
In the end this post is meant for one thing only. To tell you that I am finding out who I am. And that I am not afraid to be who I want to be. That the only approval that is satisfying is your own. And that even though my life seems like nothing special right now, it is, to me.