the dawn is breaking

As some of you well know for the past eight months i have been living in a house of 4 other girls. we alllwent to high school together, and for the most part enjoyed being together. But as this new phase in my life is coming around, i realize just how much i have learned from these past eight months. We have all finish our first year/semester of college/university, and now is the time that we pack up hug each other good bye and set out on our own paths. But as i stare down this new path i will be trekking the next four months, i can't help but laugh at the past eight that brought me here.

The first thing i will be eternally grateful for, is never having to realize that E has done 16 loads of dirty Landry in on day with out cleaning the lint trap. and then pulling it out, only to have a few tons of pink lint burst in my face!

Secondly I will not miss the mounds of towels that litter the bathroom counter. Stumbling into the bathroom early in the morning to wash my face, and discovering that every towel we own is now lying about the bathroom, sickly dirty, from lack of being washed, all the while my face dripping wet.

Next i will so not miss the drama. I have no drama, this could be considered a blessing or a curse, take your pick. But my room-mates..... oh no i dont think you know drama till you live with two young Ladies brought up in the gossip capital of the WORLD! Even a peanut butter left out on the counter is suddenly the beginning of a new and horrid disaster.
I will not miss the lack of advice tacking that my dear roomies seem to have. I have not had alot of relationships, actually i have had a rather pathetic history. But i have extensive knowledge of how men, and good relationships work (I think its from all the winners i've seen go in and out of my loved ones lives.) But my dear room mates dont seem to think im serious when they ask: "Cathy what should i do he is being so dumb!" and I tell them just what to do. and then they do the complete opposite and get their heart broken.........which is ALWAYS followed by a sobbing, ice cream hording, mess-a-thon.....sick. I'm smart I know what im talking about! LISTEN!!!! having kids better not be like that!

The comments about my fashion will be greatly missed.....or not. I am constantly ridiculed for my fashion... If you dont know i have a very unique fashion out look, and it doesn't really fit in a mold. But E has taken it upon her self to tell me that i am forbidden to buy certain articles of clothing, due to there hideousness. Of course I dont think i have ever actually listened. Last time i checked fashion was an expression of who YOU are not your room mates. On top of that i lost all respect for her taste, when she told me to buy a leopard print top last night. She claimed it was adorable on me, i claimed i was part of my ethical code to never own some thing that looked like a leopard hit by a car..... made sense to me!

Waking up to the sound of opera will not be missed. I have a super cute roomie V. she enjoys singing a bit to much. so when she thinks no one is home (which she usually is wrong about) she sings at the top of her lungs Enya. Well i dont know if you've ever heard Enya opera style....but let me tell you, its an experience for all. it kind makes me laugh with a hint of wanting to stab my ear drums out. as if Enya wasn't bad enough!
Some of you may know about my most favorite topic of room mate anger M, M is pretty much a love/hate situation with me. So lets just cut this blog entry short and summarize my M experience, instead of listing how many things she does that makes me want to literally, pluck each hair out of my head! M and all of her unique personality traits.

I will not miss hear how each man i think is simply amazing looks like the embodiment of Satan, of a Simpson's character!
And i will not miss the lack of space that has been a problem in our fridge and freezer since i moved in. for the past 3 weeks i have had no groceries. But i survive off of the food that they have not touched for eight months, that their mothers sent with them in neat little casserole dishes. I cant wait to own my own groceries!!!!!!

despite all of the insanely stupid and annoying things the four girl have done, i have a special love for each of them.......even if that love makes me want to punt them in the shins at times. Its been eight months to remember and it will never be the same! THANK GOODNESS!!!!! lol

what i want you to know

today in sunday school nolan made us close our eyes and picture our own funeral. morbid i know but it gets better. he challenged us to write down what we'd want our family friends co-workers and church members to know about us. i thought i would write mine here where my family and friend can see.
FAMILY
Mom- I want you to know you are my best friend. there is no greater mother. i would want you to know that your stupid mistakes, helped make me who i am. i'd want you to remember sacrament meetings in glenwood, and late night talks, i would want you to remember singing you are my sun shine, and i would want you to remember helping me through every second of my grown up life.

Aaron- I would want you to remember who made you so stupid, remember when we both spent days on end at home together, remember dad and you and me together, remember me beating on you and know it was just to make you strong, remember that i never stopped loving you even when i left.

Tim- remember how happy you make my mom, every time you make her happy you make me happy. remember my sarcasm because it will still be there when we are all in heaven together.

Anna- remember im your sister and i always wanted what was best for you. remember that even thought your life has been ruff, you are loved by many people i am one,my mom is one, your dad is one, your mom is one, and your heavenly father is one.

Tiffany- Remember the cowboy party, and all you did for me because i will be eternally grateful.

Aunt Judy and uncle Jeff- remember how much i hated living at your house and know it was the best thing that ever happened to me. remember each hug and each time you showed me love and the place i hold yo in my heart.

FRIENDS
Laura- remember me, and everything i am about. remember anti-flag and high school. but most of all remember that you were the only one that totally got me. I want you to remember me for each time you needed someone i was there. and that each time you were stupid i told you. remember my randomness, and my laugh, remember my midnight antics, and our boy dramas. remember how i change but always hold you in my heart.

Steph- remember all our times, and that you are in my heart for eternity, and i always with you. that you are not just a friend but a sister. remember my emotions good and bad, remember every tear, and every laugh. remember that heavenly father loves you just as much as me.

Cody- remember our wars and our teasing, but when you do remember that out of everyone i know, i never have quite had such loyalty to them. remember that i was always there for you, and so is heavenly father. remember each time i said i love you because i do. remember that you are a part of my heart as well, and you always will.

Kodie- i wish you new just how much you changed me. thank you, thank you. i want you to remember that you are the one person that is credited with making me who i am, and always loving me.

EVERYONE
I want everyone to remember how much i love my heavenly father, that he is what gets me through each day, for he has placed each of you in my life. he is the only one that calms my heart, he is the only one that understands my hints. he knew me better than i knew myself. and i owe all to him because with out him i would never see each of you again.
I would also want everyone to remember that i loved and i served, and that every mistake i made i am grateful for, and every person i made them with changed me.
This will never be all the people i would want ot remember me. and this isn't even half of what i would want them to remember me for. but anyday could be the last one, so just for those in my life now, i love you. and i will never forget you, never forget me.

for the nights he can't remember

oh the hospital....... one place i greatly hate. but unfortunately some where I've been for the past 4 days and will continue to be for the next 3.
all thanks to my best of friend cody healy.
im not in the hospital no worries there, he is. At last the fates have caught up to him and landed him in room 404 at the hospital. here's the story.
its 7:00 in the morning and i am sleeping, of course, when my phone rings. i ignore it, thats what i always do at 7:00 in the morning when the phone rings. it stops, and starts again, i still ignore it. and then a third time, i answered. it was cody. he asked when i got out of class i said 4:30 he said great he'd see me then and that he was so cold. and hung up. i knew something happend i just didnt know what.
4:30 rolls around and he is waiting for me at my house. when i get there i ask him why he's in here, and what happened that he called me at 7 in the morning cold.
he goes on to tell me this story......
he was watching taylor switf on MTV the night before, and the next thing he remembers in waking up in a ditch out side of a small town, with my room mates bike, that was in our hometown. so he proceeds to call me from a pay phone and ride the bike the rest of the way to my house. unfortunately he could not remember just how he got into that ditch................OH CODY!
so i hung out a bit with him, but when i discovered that he could not walk, he was in so much pain. and that his head hurt a lot, i decided he needed to go to the hospital.
So i took him down town and laura took him to emergency, one hour later i showed up at emergency (after finishing a class project) and this is where he has been ever since. the hospital. i have been there everyday almost all day long. talking, laughing, smacking him, and doing homework.
I hate hospitals, i hate the sick, i hate the smell, i hate the pain, that is in them. but i love that in that hospital i remembered why he is my best friend, and just how much i live the kid. In that hospital i realized i couldn't do it alone, and so i brought the spirit with me. in that hospital i showed just how much i care and i got back the respect that i have always wondered about our whole friendship.
I hate the hospital, but i love room 404.

the sound of silence

after the up downs of this week, the sound of silence has been most welcome. I dont know if you have experienced the sound of silence, but it happens right after your life falls apart. Its the moment you realize it will all be ok. and it literally is a silence. a silence of thought, of action, of emotion. you recollect yourself and move along. the next day something new is happening, but your ok because of the silence that has restored you.
my silence was a perfect day, that started with me receiving a new laptop that didn't have insane issues. and getting my term paper handed in. that is how its starts it lets things work out. then you sleep, which is what i did, i skipped class, and slept. then you do something to get your mind off it. i also did this, i went to the movie 21. which is great by the way. and has a man that i am absolutely in love with. and then you need to sleep again. sleep is key to my silences. and then you need to accomplish something that has been hanging over your head for weeks. my ethics case study, by the end of last night i was ready to take on life.
And that i feel normal again i can get back to real life.
It is my last week of work. well tomorrow is my last day. I've called in sick on all my shifts since Saturday. each for a good reason. but work just doesn't matter to me right now. I plan on applying at Michael's as soon as i am done exams. and also a billion other places. i need to jobs this summer, i have to pay off a laptop and save for next semester. its amazing the weight that has lifted off my shoulders since i quit my job. if there is any way i can go through school only working the summers I'm going to do it!
i guess i should touch on whatever happened to the perfect bone structure boy. i don't really know, i got caught up in school and life and then one day i realized he hadn't been in class for a couple of weeks. the best thing i ever learned in high school was how to get over a boy. i use to sob and pout and act totally well high schoolish. but now in my grown up years I've learned that life is to short to waste it on stupid boys. once in a while there's a boy that comes along that is worth tears. but those boy are few and far between.