So as some of you know, I have been playing girlfriend with the boy. Tonight I made a break through. Not an easy break through but a break through.
I was chatting with the boy.
The conversation got to us. Which it usually does. Since I have much stronger feelings for him, than he does for me, it usually gets there.
He is not ready for me to be his girlfriend.
In Cathy talk that means
"Your not enough"
He assures me I am. I don't know how I could be. If what he said was true, if I was indeed the best he could ever wish for, then why not let me say I'm your GF?
This fact has been rolling around in my head for weeks. But I enjoyed playing girlfriend.
Tonight some thing hit me. Why would you want to be with someone who isn't sure about you?
I AM FREAKING AMAZING!
I am patient and understanding.
Fun, cute, humorous, talented, driven, passionate, loyal, trustworthy.
I am forgiving, and most of all AWESOME!
And here I am missing a boy who cant even tell me why he "likes" me.
There is someone out there who does think I am enough. In fact he thinks I'm more than he could ask for. So why in the world am I wasting my time with a guy who doesn't.
I am Done.
I know it will be hard. I am still attracted to this boy. I know it will take a while, but I am done.
I've never been in this place before.
Having someone like me, but not want me to them selves.
I mean I have had guys not like me.
And I have had guys head over heals for me.
but never a fence sitter.
To be honest I would take the rejection any day.
You have no idea how hard it is to get over a guy who says "I like you" but then says "but I am not ready for a relationship". it's like throwing a starving girl chocolate and biting into it only to realize it is dirt.
That was a horrible analogy. But at two in the morning it made for a good mental picture.
So Merry Christmas Bloggers.
And Merry Christmas to that guy, who I know is out there, who would be more than happy to hold me in his arms for the rest of his life.
A new year comes and I grow up a bit more.