Ok so it's 2 days until I leave to go back to the bridge........not sure If it's good or bad.
I am so excited to see my friends, and to not have to work! however I am not excited about any drama I may encounter.
My life has been, for the most part, drama free since leaving the bridge. But I can just smell the drama, and I haven't even left yet.
So I love that I'm going........But I hate that I'm going.
My biggest fear is Cody.........I assume that he will be the same, and act the same way he did when trying to win Wilbur and Kristy's friendship back. But my assumptions are often wrong. The truth is in 3 months, I have heard him mention me 3 times. So I think my odds are good, but I always think that. The truth is if he is in the same boat as me, I'm not sure what I will do. If he really is just done with me, I don't know how to feel about that. I'm not sure what would be worse, facing him to say good bye forever.....or having things already be ended. wow......and I thought I was over him (do get me wrong I'm done loving him, but I guess I still have some emotional stuff with the idiot.)
Well I guess it will all unfold this weekend....or you know, it won't.
I found it hard to go to church this Sunday, it's way easy to deal with things when you just ignore them. I deal with B being gone, by pretending he's not.... But he is, so walking into a building that he is always in, and he's not is a little off putting. I'm sure eventually I will get over this..... But until then, I will continue to be rather uncomfortable at church. Which is a really different feeling at FP. I have always felt very at home there, so sitting down and feeling out of place was just rather weird.