Still in the Bridge.
Loving Life. wow didn't see that coming.
So it was time to spend to much money, and have to much fun, with my girls. And thats just what we did, the stagette was fun. There was a lot of food, a little ABBA, a lot of sex talk, and even more smiles. Its been along time since I have been in a room with the 4 girls I consider my best friends. I miss them, every sick perverted joke, every insane laugh, every loving word. It was fun. and not to mention my long term crush Andrew P lives up stairs so It was nice to chat with him. The first part of my day was just me and liz, I truly love Liz. I can't be more happy that she found her one. We wrapped up around midnight, and I went to Will's and lauras to crash on their couch (which was vacuumed!)
It started with Friday Forum. Which is by far my most favorite church activity. Matea came and got me, and broke the news to me. A boy was asking me to the sweethearts dance that night!
Brad showed up with a rose (which he does every V-Day) and after giving me a hug, I asked, "So Brad, who are you taking to the dance?" he replied, "you, if you want to go with me."
Ah Brad, I do love him. Brad is Matea's ex, he is like a little sister to me. So the date wasn't a big thing. But we had fun! The rest of the day was filled with wandering enemy territory (aka The college/Cody's domain) and getting super hot for my Date.
Brad took me to moxies, we had a blast. And not to mention the best open faced Tuscany chicken sandwich I had ever tasted!
Then came the dance, It was at the University. It's always a different experience to go to a dance with a date. First off you always have someone to dance with, second off people ask questions. It was extra fun! we met up with matea and dance away.
I saw him....
Right there. I front of me. Watching me. Cody.
I grabbed Matea.....while spitting out all kinds of things that you shouldn't say at a Mormon dance. I was freaking out, and then I ran to get Brad.
Brad's words were "Your better than that, ignore him."
And thats what I did, soon it wasn't hard at all, to forget he was even there. I danced, took pictures with my date, dance with my date. It was by far the funnest dance I had had in a while.
The last dance Me and Brad headed to the floor, only to end up right next to Cody (that may or may not have been a chance thing.) how ever even standing right next to him, I didn't feel it. That old surge of emotion, that I could just never explain. It was gone, along with every intention I had to talk to him. The music stopped, I left with brad. I went to bed. And didn't think about Cody all night. Wow, I did it. I grew up, I got over Cody.
The Big was upon us. We had to be at the temple at 10. When She came out with Eldon, I wanted to cry. She was so beautiful, so happy. I had never seen her like that before. The day was great, I spent it with all the people I love. And saw one of them find the one she loved.
After the wedding Matea Brad and I had plans to see "Coraline". These plans soon came to involve Kenny. Matea's return missionary friend.
So we went to the movie, I sat next to kenny. Part way through he leaned over, "Did you want my jacket? you look cold."
Did a good looking funny boy just offer me his jacket?
Hi God you know this is me right, you just don't let these kinda thing happen to me.
soon he bumped my arm....strange he seemed to be getting closer and closer to me.
Once again, God, are you sure? could this be?
Suddenly it dawned on me. It had been a long time since I had ever felt anything for anyone other than Cody. there was times I turned down people, just because I wasn't interesting.
Was I feeling again? could I like someone again?
The movie was great, but not as good as the realization, that I was not only over Cody, but I was letting my self feel again.
And after laying down in Mateas bed that night, I realized Kenny could just like me back!
I added Kenny on facebook.
Went to church, and heard the Lord loud and clear. For the first time since I left the bridge the lord spoke, and I knew what he was saying.
Went to Laura's, talked to Kenny on Facebook, told laura about how I like someone else. She was grateful for the change of topic.
Hung out with Blake. which always consists of Guitar Hero!
Here I sit, changed. I sat here 4 months ago, defeated. I sat here, burdened by the people I now love. I sat here Loving the person that was my largest burden.
Strong was something I never felt in the bridge.
Weak is something I will never feel again.
I feel the lords hand in this trip. He was there holding me back, putting the words into Brads mouth, hugging me, laughing with me. He was there when I watch Liz walk out of the temple. He was there when I put those 3D glasses on and sat next to Kenny. He was there when I fell asleep next to my best friend. He broke my heart, and then showed my how to use him to put it back together, so it would be whole.