Tuesday, May 20, 2008

What I Wish I'd Known When I Was Single-John Bytheway

I read this book in about 3 hours, out of sheer boredom. But it struck me. so i thought i'd summarize a bit of it and tell you about it.
The first part is about being on your own.
these are a few steps to success:
"When you leave home, take an anchor of your testimony-you'll need it!"
-John talks about goals and having a plan for what you want to do with your life.
I have always known i needed to have goals but never really make them. My life is usually in a state of disarray. And i have noticed that goals clean it up a bit. so this is something i decided to take on.
"I always wanted to be somebody. I guess I should have been more specific."
-Next he say we need to keep learning, always learn. Read books, listen to the words of leaders, go to school.
I recently experience how learning can effect your life when your single. What better to do then fill you mind with knowledge, This is the best time. I have no kids or husband, no really good job. Its the perfect time to learn.
-Go to Instatue!
This one is strait forward......to bad seminary was never a strong point for me. It made going to instatue not important. But i have made a goal to start going in the fall when it starts up again.
-Stay out of Debt.
heres 5 steps that will help:
1. Pay an honest tithing
2. Live on less than you earn
3. Distinguish between wants and needs.
4. Develop and live within a budget
5. Be honest in all of your financial affairs
I have grown up with a deep hate for credit cards, but that doesnt mean i have an easy time with staying out of debt!
-Dont focus on things you cant control.
This is hard for me. I always want to have things go my way, all the time. Unfortunately i can only control me! so I have to work on me and this that i can control.
-Identify your blind spots.
sometimes it take a good honest friend to point out what you are really bad at, or how you act. But when people do, its important to consider what they have to say and if their right CHANGE!
-Dont Obsess.
I have a problem with this.
John says that obsessing about being single is bad. It isnt attractive. Unfortunately for my future generations. My whole journal is about my love life. That and sad moments of my life. this blog is a little more reveling. but still i need to cool it with the boy obsessions.
"Expressing love to soon can distroy it, there will come a time when you both feel attraction and love will blossom."-Elder Boyd K Packer-
-Dont continue to date someone you know you wouldnt marry.
I have to say that im good at this. I can recognize when a guy is just not what im look for, and its really easy for me to say "Listen your nice, but your not really what im looking for in a long term boyfriend/husband. sorry."
"Kissing is serious business....it's not for recreation."
I pretty much love this quote. I dont know why but i have always felt that passion should be saved for the person you really love, and loves you back. and not that high school kinda love. that real kind love. and so i completely agree, holding hands is a signal that you are together, and it just gets more important from there. to me kisses are for people you love. not everyone.
"Men take care not to make women weep, for god counts their tears."-President Monson-
-Dont Let Break ups Break you
5 signs its time to break up:
1. You begin to feel Obligated (doing this for him isnt a pleasure, there a chore.)
2. You begin to test each other (If he loves me he'll do what i want him to)
3. You feel you cant communicate on the same level
4. You feel lonely and think about other people
5. You feel like a low priority
'Being single will never be as painful as being married to the wrong person with the wrong standards."-Marvin J Ashton-
love isnt all it takes to make a relationship. I love a lot of people. I have seen this one many times, and experienced it almost as many times. Love the person not the Idea!
Real Love Feels like:
you'll feel a desire to achieve
you'll feel inspired to do your best
you'll want to make the most of yourself
you'll think your noblest thoughts
you'll aspire to your finest deeds
you'll wish you are better than you are
-Respect and Admiration is the core of real love.
BUT if you are simply waiting..............
"Live you life in crescendo, set aside your duet music for now, and you play what you can! Play loud, Play well, make music!!!!"
"Get your self a goal worth working for!"
and last but not least......................
"Bottom line. You can trust him, so you do what you can do, and find peace in your savior."

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